Workaholism and Failure: Confessions of a Former Addict
We live in a society in which getting more things done faster is shamelessly rewarded, regardless of the toll it takes on body, mind, and spirit. As a society, we are performance-driven, have an insatiable hunger for material goods, and consider the need to rest and recuperate all too often a sign of weakness.
…and our nervous systems are much like well-behaved children. They learn what we teach them. If we teach them to perform high all the time, they will go in overdrive for us… the only problem is that we forget how to relax…
Modern-day culture has a solution to the problem; ‘Self-Care’. In academia, it’s the new buzzword. I read countless papers on its importance for counselors, and even wrote papers on it, while I was myself completely overworked. Considering the demands of my program, adding even more activities to my to-do list, even if they were considered self-care, seemed overwhelming… or straight out impossible. Being in go-go-go mode all the time, crash and burn was more my way of relaxing, my only way.
Running on overdrive becomes a way to not notice what is happening in the present, the here-and-now, our emotions, and our bodies.
I changed my ways because I needed to. I was not listening to my body’s subtle messages, so it spoke to me louder. My body gave me all the signs that change was needed. A tender informant.
My recovery from workaholism came with a fair share of guilt. Once I decided to drastically reduce my workload, I found myself waking up at night, feeling guilty about having time to relax. Recognizing that my workaholic patterns were both ancestral and collective, it became easier for me to make the necessary changes that enabled me to live life differently.
My health recovered and I started to realize that I had lived in chronic overdrive for most of my adult life. Instead of cherishing self-care, I started to have time to enjoy all the little things in life…walking to work instead of taking the bus, meeting a friend for coffee, cooking a meal. Self-care was not yet another activity I needed to squeeze into my crazy schedule, my way of living became an expression of my care for my body, my mental state, my Self.
Workaholism can be a result of the circumstances we are in, or the beliefs we have about ourselves, such as that we are not worthy or that we are failing if we don’t always go the extra mile. Collective pressures and cultural ideas often factor into the mix that drives us. Drastic practical changes are not always possible, but if we are in a state of chronic overdrive, it is important to discern what is driving us and why, and the value of what we are driving and how.
Sometimes, a friend or counselor can help us to explore new ways, a different perspective -a perspective and lifestyle that is kinder to our mental, emotional and physical health. Contact us if you need support!
